Healthy.

I get up in the morning. I have a mug of tea to get me going, followed by a half glass of fruit juice.

At lunch, I have a chicken wrap and a bottle of fruit juice.

I get home, and go for a jog. On my return, I eat an apple.

Later, when I’m hungry, I go and spoil it all by nipping out for a bag of chips, from which I make numerous chip butties.

A truly Scottish diet.