January 12, 2008

She’s not interested. Graciously accepting my intense interest in her as compliment, which it should always be, I mask just how much the rejection grips me.

So there I was sitting on the train home, lump in throat. Involuntary quivering lip, I shed a few tears. I’m conscious of at least one girl on the same train watching me, clearly itching to know what was wrong.

How can the maintenance of the status quo — i.e., “just friends” — initiate a reaction so similar to that of the breakup of a long relationship?

I have always said that it’s important to tell people if you’re interested in them. Keeps everything above board. I just wish that in this case the feeling had been mutual.

Off to cry.


July 4, 2007

Ok. So who’s the girl, I hear you ask. Well, I can’t tell you that. I shouldn’t tell you all that much, actually, just in case. I know the internet’s a big place, but I should really keep specifics out of this.

So what’s so special about her?

She’s astoundingly intelligent. She’s more intelligent than I, which is the most crazy turn on I could possibly have imagined.

She’s independent. There’s no feeling that she’s waiting to fall into Mr. Right’s arms directly before rushing off to the chapel to get married, thereafter producing or rearing children. I’m so far from being an emotional crutch with her that to go out with her is a compliment.

She’s older than me. While not a requirement in itself, with age comes maturity and I am perhaps mature beyond my years. Either that or I appreciate maturity in others.

She’s physically beautiful. She has the most amazing eyes which I could — and do have your sick bag on standby — … I could just stare into those eyes forever. The little way the corner of her mouth curls up at one end when she’s thought of something clever. The gut laugh when we make the same joke. The colour of her hair, the way she walks, the fucking shoes she wears. I want to spend every single waking moment of my life with this woman.


Only problem? We live particularly far apart. I’m willing to test the water on that one though.


July 1, 2007

Ok. I have a couple more weeks of stuff, then I think I should be back for good. If I can’t maintain this blog properly, then I might do the reasonable thing and put it quietly to bed. I’ll say so if that’s my choice.

It’s been interesting times of late. I have quite a bit to mull over with regards to the love life before I post any of it.

Ever found the person you think you want to marry? Ever come to that conclusion within 24 hours of meeting them?

Spins the fucking mind around, does it not?